


Someplace Safe

by SupercityCarnival



Category: The Expanse (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Friendship/Love, season 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 15:28:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29084661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupercityCarnival/pseuds/SupercityCarnival
Summary: A little canon divergence for my first delve into Season 5. Spent a bit of time exploring some of Chrisjen's feelings/thoughts here, which are much deeper than I was able to express.I'm so bummed about the lack of interaction between our girls this season, but I'm still very much enjoying what each of their characters are doing! Such an engaging story. Hope you enjoy this little snippet.
Relationships: Chrisjen Avasarala/Bobbie Draper
Comments: 8
Kudos: 50





	Someplace Safe

**Author's Note:**

> A little canon divergence for my first delve into Season 5. Spent a bit of time exploring some of Chrisjen's feelings/thoughts here, which are much deeper than I was able to express. 
> 
> I'm so bummed about the lack of interaction between our girls this season, but I'm still very much enjoying what each of their characters are doing! Such an engaging story. Hope you enjoy this little snippet.

The holoscreen stared at her, waiting to record the message. Finger poised over the record button, she hesitated. These messages had become more and more difficult. What do you say to someone who's risking it all to advance your agenda, someone constantly on a knife's edge of danger simply because you asked? 

With a deep exhale, Chrisjen Avasarala tapped the button and attempted to look more sure than she actually felt. 

"Our Saturn and Jupiter fleets are still pulling back to guard the inner planets," she said, telling herself a simple update would be best, "but are detaching task groups along the way to search and destroy any Inaros forces using the ship profiles you sent." 

From the corner of her eye, Chrisjen caught Bobbie Draper's profile photo looking back at her from the holoscreen. The deep concern that always seized her when she thought of Bobbie gripped her once again. 

After the slightest pause, she continued. "Good work." Next, she was able to finally give Bobbie the orders she'd been wanting to for months. "Now get your asses someplace safe, and let me know when you do." 

Quickly mashing the send button, Chrisjen leaned back in her chair. Marco's actions had rippled throughout the system. It hadn't only impacted Earth, quite literally, but it had unleashed a shit storm everywhere. Every ship, every fleet, every captain from here to the Ring Gates was on high alert, walking on eggshells, and trigger happy. It was more dangerous for the Razorback now than before the attack. They would have to use extreme caution and probably some cunning. Thankfully, Chrisjen knew Bobbie possessed both in spades. 

********************

The weeks following the attack on Earth were a deep well of pain. So much loss. 

Chrisjen passed by it every day on her way to work as she walked through the concourses of Luna. The towering memorial became more dense with the names of the lost each time she saw it. Sometimes she would study it, catching a name here and there and wondering about the person. What had they done for a living? Did they have a family? Did their family survive? 

She'd created her own holocard to add to the memorial. Standing in front of it one morning, Chrisjen had the card pulled up on her hand terminal. Looking at Arjun's name on the screen, she held her fingertip to it for the longest time, unable to bring herself to swipe it to the memorial. 

No, not yet, she told herself. There is still hope. She took her finger from the screen and put the handheld away. He could still be alive. 

Arjun had been her companion, her anchor, for decades. She loved him more deeply throughout her life than she'd ever loved anyone. However, during these last years, the strong chain that had always held her to her anchor had begun to buckle. The more the tides of life pulled at Chrisjen and the more the anchor refused to budge, the more stress was put on the tether between them until finally the unthinkable happened. The line connecting them was broken. 

But that didn't mean that Chrisjen's love for him was gone. It was still strong. After all, no one knew her like her Arjun did, and no one knew him like she did. How could she let go of such a bond? 

She had to admit, though, that a new anchor had taken hold of her, one that willingly moved slightly along the ocean floor with her, rather than attempting to hold her in one spot. This new anchor understood her in ways Arjun simply couldn't, or didn't want to. This new anchor awakened new perspectives and possibilities that Chrisjen had never thought possible. Who could have ever imagined that Earth's most glorious vessel would have a Martian anchor?

*******************

The time for action had come. The acting Secretary-General had a grievous lapse in judgement, one that cost far too many lives. Unable to stand for the sheer hypocrisy taking place in front of her, Chrisjen spontaneously tendered her resignation. 

When would all this end? Why were so many people so quick to take life rather than preserve it? The irony wasn't lost on Chrisjen. A decade ago, she would have fired the first shot at Marco Inaros. What had changed her? 

She knew when it started. It was the day she asked a Martian for help ending a conflict that had brought their two worlds to the brink of war. That day she stood on the beach, outside the sea wall for the first time in ages. Bobbie Draper hadn't been the only one in awe of the view. Chrisjen had almost forgotten the majesty of the ocean. 

She needed to get that heart of diplomacy back in the UN. How could she convince them all this time retaliation wasn't the answer? 

Chrisjen paced her office. Her hands began to shake with frustration and she unbuttoned the long suit jacket that draped over her. This was the time she needed someone - someone to talk to, someone to trust, someone to help her look at all the angles. Her thoughts wandered to Arjun and tears welled in her eyes. No, she thought. Shutting her eyes tight, Chrisjen released a ragged breath. Sweeping her fingertips underneath her eyelids, she wiped the tears, remembering the morning she'd finally let go and put his card on the memorial. Arjun wasn't here. 

What would Bobbie do, she asked herself. With a small chuckle, she thought that Bobbie would beat the entire cabinet into submission. A memory came to mind, Bobbie saying, _'I don't usually solve problems with my people skills.'_

The familiar concern rose in Chrisjen's chest. Reports of Belter raiders had become more and more common between Earth and the outer planets and she hadn't heard from Bobbie in so long. She reminded herself that it had often been a long while between communications before. 

********************

Decisions were being made and it was all happening so fast, too fast to keep up with. The writing was on the wall. Chrisjen would soon be in power again, real power. She had to admit, there was a part of her that was thrilled. However, another part was reserved. Too much had changed in too short a time. For the first time in her life, she didn't feel completely up to the task. Her usual sources of strength were gone and she couldn't remember the last time she'd had to rely solely on herself. 

Sitting at the desk in her office, Chrisjen's mind went in a hundred different directions. She knew her ultimate goal, but the path forward remained clouded. 

Just then, the door to the office entryway opened. Chrisjen turned to look. A guard entered, followed by someone she couldn't see behind him. 

"Madam, this woman claims she's a friend of yours. Insisted we bring her to you right away."

The guard stepped aside and Chrisjen's lips parted with surprise, the breath stolen from her lungs. 

Kind chestnut eyes met hers with the tentative look of someone unsure whether they'd made the right decision. Bobbie Draper looked at her and she looked at Bobbie. A slight glance and a wave of Chrisjen's hand and the guard was gone. 

Slowly standing, Chrisjen came around the desk, glistening gaze glued to the young woman. Both faces expressed a breadth of emotions miles long. A thousand memories flew through Chrisjen's mind, reminding her of why this person had become so precious. Memories from the times Bobbie kept her safe on her security team, memories from the Roci, feeling the safest she'd ever felt in the midst of the most dangerous situation she'd ever been in, memories of their time together before Bobbie decided it best to return to Mars. 

With her hair pulled back into a curly and unkept ponytail, she was the most beautiful thing Chrisjen had ever seen. All the churning thoughts of the past months began to settle in an instant. Unconsciously, she'd made her way closer until they were so close she could reach out and touch her. 

Quietly, Bobbie finally spoke. "You said to let you know when we were someplace safe." 

Lips lifting slightly, Chrisjen could only manage a tight nod, attempting to hold her tears at bay. She was so tired of crying. Thankfully, these were the first tears of relief that had come in a long time. Bobbie was safe. 

Chrisjen lifted tentative hands to Bobbie's broad shoulders. The Martian didn't retreat. In fact, she leaned in mere centimeters, but it was enough to prompt Chrisjen to reach around her, pulling her into a strong hold. She felt hesitant hands at her waist, then they slipped around the soft fabric of her clothing until Bobbie had engulfed her in the closest hug she could. 

Hearing Bobbie release a shuttered breath, Chrisjen only held on tighter. Warmth flooded her when Bobbie returned the grip. They stayed like that as the minutes ticked by. The feeling of being anchored again began to settle on Chrisjen and she was so grateful for this woman.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
